Walking Between Two Worlds

This blogging is a bit sporadic for me.  However, I have often heard to become a good writer you need to write often.  I don't claim to be a great writer; although, I do hope to become better through writing.  Then again, maybe that is not the point.  After all, isn't writing about the story, the struggle, the journey.  The journey is where I am stuck right now, which I realize is kind of an oxymoron as a journey means progress, and you can't have progress if you are stuck.  There is the crux- in many ways I feel like I am moving toward something, but not really moving anywhere.  I am spinning my wheels.  Truthfully, for the first time, I feel lost.  I know what I want, but I feel too numb to do anything about it.  Have you ever felt this?  It is that pull to do more and be more, and yet you are still living and existing in a world that makes you feel too tired and down daily to do anything.  You know what world you want to live in, but you are lost to get there.  And, the world you once inhabited is gone due to lost beliefs, lost lives, lost dreams, and pain, and overcoming that pain to get to the other world you want some days just seems insurmountable.  I would be lying if I did not say I feel the pull of both these positive and negative worlds- the world as it is, and world that could be, but how to find my way out of existing in both I could not tell you.  Yet, maybe in that realization therein lies the answer. Maybe I am meant to exist in both the here and now and the dream world.  Maybe the trick is to stop berating myself and just start doing.  Maybe we all walk daily between two worlds, the world as it is and the world as it should be.. our dream world... and we all need both to survive what inevitably can be a very harsh reality.  Maybe truly finding yourself means sometimes losing yourself along the way...