Poetry 101

Recently, I have been enrolled in a poetry class at my local community college.  Since I was a little girl I have used poetry as a way of expressing my feelings.  I even have two notebooks full of stuff I wrote clear back in my adolescence.  Some of it is quite good- if not only for a laugh.  The poems I have written here are works I have done through assignment in class.  Some of my work is drawn from life and personal experience, some is not and random.  Some is light, some is dark.  I find, however, writing poetry is a very cathartic.  Also, I have learned what exactly constitutes good poetry really depends on the person and their own perspective.  That being said, I have shared a couple of pieces here I wrote.   Please do not copy or repost in any form without my written permission.  I retain all rights to my own work.

Judgement Day

by Jennifer Johnston

I see her

She sees me

Recognition but rejection 

Angry, wicked, piercing me

I open my mouth 

She screams

I loathe what she has become

She hates me right back 

Robbed, broken, weak

I blame her

Her eyes accuse me of my own lies

Rage, I lash out

Her hand blocks mine 

I cannot touch her

She knows 

I can only change me

She 

is 

me

I 

am 

her

I am my own reflection.

Love's Overthrow
By Jennifer Johnston

One boy.  One girl.
Separate hearts searching,
meet one night.
The sun's hold is waning
as prism rays incise the sky
to die another day in color's splendor.
Perched upon a boulder precipice,
they watch
as wrapped in the blood of the horizon
the moon reaches to greet the evening.
While two hearts strain for courage's flight,
a timid hand finds a pounding pulse.
Two eyes find their match.
A chill
that matches the autumn air
streams through flesh's inferno.
And, a girl
in anticipation of love's first overthrow
falls even blinder.
Silhouetted trees painted on the night's canvas bend
as both bodies bow in surrender.
Two souls bind, as fated, by bound lips
and born is first love's fire.

Drowning

by Jennifer Johnston

Gripping, skin tearing, rough rock unyielding.

Hands waning, as seeping water slips, sloughing all strength.

Pushing where no foundation meets my feet, just rapids rolling.

Praying for salvation, rescue, redemption, relief.

Screaming...

And they watch...

Muscles burning, head plunging, acid water burning chocking its way back out.

Hungry current starving, devouring, ripping me away.

Gravity swallowing whole its prey.

Unrelenting force the master of all.

Screaming...

And they watch...

Tossing, turning, severing cold consuming.

Pushed down, accepting, helpless to resist.

Welcoming death as a friend from the pain 

I let go.

Silent...

And they watch...

Struggling Between Light and Dark.

     I think everyone struggles at some time in their life with feeling dark or the darkness inside of them. There are those that would say that this is because that person is doing something wrong, that darkness only comes from doing dark things or dark people.  If that were exclusively true, however, then why do bad things happen to good people?  Why? Because darkness is a part a life.  It is what we do with that darkness or when those dark feelings come that really matters.  In essence, it comes down to a choice.  Light cannot shine its brightest in the absence of darkness, it is only with a background of darkness that its brightest light can be seen.  Therefore, the darkness does not have to be bad but can actually be the driving factor to good.  Again, it is about choice.  How will the darkness shape you?  Will it become a detriment to your character or a defining push to your betterment.  These are all things I struggle with daily in my life.
     As I write, I try to explore this concept between the opposite and contrasting pulls of light and dark and even the gray in between.  What inherently makes someone evil?  What defines someone as good, and is that by societies definition or by their own?  What turns a good man bad, and a bad man good?  These are questions philosophers have been puzzling over for centuries.  It is interesting though that this is a concept that has tested the ages since probably the beginning of the world.
     If we are all really honest with ourselves, it is not the absence of darkness that makes us good or evil, it is the choices we make and what we learn from the light and dark that defines us, makes us interesting, helps us grow, and ultimately leads us to be better people.  So the next time you judge someone because you see the bad in them, remember this... the only real power darkness has in our lives is the power we give it or the negative power we inflict on others.
   In saying this, I in no way profess to be an expert or perfect.  After all, it certainly is a struggle for me to find balance.  And, some days I fail miserably.  My only hope is to someday understand myself enough to embrace the darkness so as to only shine brighter in the dark.  My hope too is that by exploring this in my writing I will be able to explore this concept within myself.

A Promise

Brian Husdon Hull....1975-2013 

A Journey into the Shadows 

My brother died September 8, 2013.  Tragically, he took his own life.  I guess sometimes even the brightest lights can be overwhelmed by the darkness in this world.  However, the darkness did not win.  It did not defeat him, as I know he is still the brightest star in a sea of black.  He will always be that for me.  He is, and will always be... with me.

As I sit here writing this,  I try to hold the tears back and remember what I know he wanted/wants from me.... TO BE BRAVE.  However, in my life, and throughout our life together, he was the brave one.  He charged down the ski slopes, rushed to defend others without a second thought for himself, and was just the kindest, strongest, most beautiful soul I have ever known. 

Yes, he was the brave one.  

He was my hero.

     For the past 6 years, I have struggled.  I have tried to find my voice through words on paper, but I have only written draft after draft of a first chapter in my young adult book titled Shadows.  And, while I have had the story play out in my head a million times, while I can see the faces of my characters, and feel them in my heart as friends on another plane, I just have not been able to find the right words to bring them and their world to life.  My brother was one of the few to have read what I have started and one of the very few who has been on this journey with me.  He was my biggest supporter, always lifting me up, trying to make me believe in myself and the validity of my work.  

    Before he died, he made me promise him I would finish it.  So, as I sit here sharing this with you, and leaving myself open to all the world, I begin that promise.  

    My hope is that you as my reader will share this journey with me, and that we may inspire each other along the way, share a laugh or two, and maybe when all is said and done complete a promise I made to my first and forever best friend, 
my brother.